The Fear of Seeming Cheap

In the current economic climate, with each day bringing new portents of doom, the arguments in favour of being frugal and saving yourself a little cash are more persuasive than ever.

People often hit the quick wins first: eat out less, drive less, postpone major purchases.  And that’s wise.  But in a week when I repaired a shirt (cost: 10 pence for materials) and a pair of shoes (cost: one squirt of superglue) I’m reminded of a claim that’s been levelled at me many times: that I’m cheap.  I’ve observed that some people shun frugality for fear of being labelled cheap.  So what’s the difference between the two?  And why do many people avoid even the suspicion of appearing cheap?

Cheapness and frugality are points along the same spectrum.  You can think of cheapness as extreme frugality.  It’s taking a good money saving idea and running so far with it you end up losing a little dignity.  And it can actually create false economies.

I define frugality as taking sensible, reasonable and proportionate steps to save money.  Or not spending money when you don’t have to.  I’ll illustrate with some examples:

Sensible: looking out for special offers on groceries you need.  Not sensible: buying the cheapest processed meat you can find, saving money but risking your health.

Reasonable: buying your brother the wedding gift he wants but getting a great deal on it from an auction site.  Unreasonable: refusing to go to the wedding to save the cost of a wedding present.

Proportionate: driving more smoothly to improve your petrol mileage (and reduce your impact on the environment).  Disproportionate: switching off the engine and coasting downhill to save petrol (and potentially creating a hazard).

Those are just a few examples, and it’s not always so clear cut.  For instance, you might feel pressured into splurging on an expensive night out with friends because everyone else is.  You might not challenge an error in the bill in a snooty restaurant.  You don’t go into the charity shop which has just what you’re after in the window in case somebody sees you.

So cheapness bad, frugality good.  But why are people worried that frugal behaviour will make them appear cheap?  Partly it’s not knowing where the dividing line between the two lies.  But for me there’s a simple answer, and it’s the same answer at the root of so much human behaviour: fear.  Fear of what others will think of them.  They feel threatened by society’s view of frugality and label it cheapness, seen as a BAD THING.  But as we’ve seen, frugality and cheapness are not the same thing.

If you recognise yourself in this description, what can you do about it?  The benefits to overcoming this obstacle are clear: I’ve saved £25 (and that’s the sale price) on a new shirt and £40+ on a new pair of shoes.

There is no handy list of ten tips to add at this point.  It’s even simpler than that.  Just swallow your fear and press ahead.  If you think of a nifty way to save yourself some money, at least try it once.  If you don’t always manage it, don’t worry.  At least you’re conscious of your actions and how they fit with what you’re trying to achieve.  As I’ve previously written here, if you go about your life with self-confidence you’ll find others less likely to make negative comments about you, and those that do come will be water off a duck’s back.

Got any other reasons for avoiding frugality?  Fess up in the comments.

photo credit: tizzie

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• Frugality and Ethical Living
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• Security and Fear
• Diversify Your Life
• The Draw of the Coffee Shop

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