Optimism vs. Cynicism
Examples:
- Taxes are going up – so politicians can line their pockets, fund their little wars
- Trains are always late – even though punctuality is close to an all time high with most operators achieving 90% punctuality
- The nation is overrun with foreign benefit toursits – even though unemployment among immigrants in Britain is lower than among British nationals.
- Anything new – is bad because it’s new and different and might not be perfect from day one.
There’s some truth in all of these gripes which is why they endure, but it’s not everywhere all the time.
So cynicism is easy. And even a little satisfying. But does it make you happy? No. I’m not advocating gullibility, but where do you draw the line?
Being optimistic and generally positive has none of this appeal. To start with you feel a little silly trying to be relentlessly optimistic. People look at you as if you’re mad if you start looking on the bright side of everything. They think you’ve been reading too much self-help literature, which of course they’re cynical about. You can see their little thought bubble that reads “he thinks taxes are just the price you pay for living in a civilised society? What a naive idealist, I thought he was smarter than that”.
But looking optimistically on life, I’ve discovered, is incredibly energising. Having a positive attitude is tremendously powerful. Now you may not represent quite the extreme of cynicism I’ve sketched out above, but why not give being consciously optimistic a try, if only for a day, and see if it makes a difference to your attitude?
“But how?”, you say. Why, like this:
Be conscious: remind yourself that you are making an effort to be optimistic by placing little reminders in your environment – notes on the fridge, on your monitor, by your car keys, anywhere you’re likely to look.
Suspend disbelief: whenever the voice in your head tells you this is all terribly silly, silence it by focusing immediately on something positive – a recent success, somebody you love, a favourite story.
Be grateful: think of something good that happended to you today and be thankful for it. If nothing comes immediately, don’t throw up your hands and storm off. Try again, and this time replay your day so far in your head to find the things you can be grateful for. It might only be the goodbye kiss on the doorstep or the fact the traffic lights went in your favour when you were running late. Little stuff like that makes all the difference.
Take a time out: things getting you down today? Everyone seemingly scheming to ensure your downfall? They’re all against you! Nah. Take five minutes to walk around, smell the air, stretch your muscles and look forward to a happy event, even if it’s only the end of this day.
Learn from others: do you know anybody who’s seemingly always in a good mood? Watch how they behave, and importantly how they react to both good and bad news. You’ll see clues to how you can react positively to events. On the proactive side, see if you can figure out (even ask them) what’s put them in their ‘good mood’. Chances are it’s not conscious but innate. That means you can learn from them and implement the same patterns in your behaviour. Over time hopefully you won’t have to work at it consciously.
Don’t give up: find yourself reacting cynically to events out of habit? Find yourself in a bad mood because you’re always in a bad mood on Mondays? It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Being conscious of the fact is the first step to improvement. Acknowledge it and go on with your day, trying to apply the tips in this article to improve matters.
Look on the bright side. It’s not always easy and the pay-off isn’t always apparent. But emotionally you’ll be better off. Besides, what have you got to lose by giving it a try?
photo credit: Alex Cheek
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